Is Your Computer The Unwanted Third Wheel In Your Relationship?
Do you spend significant amounts of time on your computer, tablet, or smartphone?
If you do, then like an increasing number of people, you may rely so fully upon one or all of these modes of communicating and connecting with the outside world that you might not be able to envision life without it. There’s no doubt that you have a very real need for these devices in your daily life and work, is it possible that your reliance on them could be eroding the quality of your life, and in particular, your love life?
Is the time you spend online having an effect on your face to face connections? What happens to relationships when one partner finds themselves flirting with Facebook friends while the other partner would prefer to spend time with them? And how do relationships fare when one partner is late to bed because they would rather find romance online?
To know whether your online activities are harming your love life, it’s important to understand the crucial distinctions between sexual shame and sex addiction. Although both terms are used frequently in the media and in everyday conversation, few people seem to understand what they truly mean and how they differ.
In fact, sexual shame is often used as “proof” or evidence of sex addiction. And while the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity defines sex addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others,” this definition leaves a lot to be desired. For instance, many gay and lesbian people suffer from sexual shame due to the judgments of others and they continue to be gay and lesbian despite “increasing negative consequences to self and others” such as angry family members, loss of employment, etc. But as we know, being gay or lesbian does not make you a sex addict and it would seem that the presence of sexual shame is not proof of sex addiction either.
How then would you know if either sexual shame or sex addiction was effecting your life?
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